Potty training…. One parent starts when their child is 2.5 years old and another says: “I’ll wait until they’re ready!” But what if “ready” never quite announces itself? Are you supposed to wait until the week before primary school?
If we’re honest, most parents feel a little insecure about the timing — and everyone seems to have an opinion. Parents, parents-in-law, friends, nursery teachers. “Is your child still in nappies?” Or: “Aren’t you starting a bit early?” You can’t win. 😉
The good news: there’s a straightforward way to cut through all the noise, and it has nothing to do with age.
Age vs. readiness signals — what actually matters
The most common question is “what age should my child start potty training?” — but age is actually the least reliable guide. Children develop at very different rates, and a child who is developmentally ready at 22 months will find potty training far easier than a child who starts at 3 simply because of their birthday.
What we recommend looking at instead are readiness signals. These are specific behaviours that tell you the brain and body are ready to take on potty training — and when several of them are present, training typically goes smoothly and quickly.
The readiness checklist
Go through these and tick the ones that apply to your child:
- Can they sit unsupported on a chair or potty?
- Can they walk to the bathroom independently?
- Do they let you know when their nappy is wet or dirty — even just with a gesture or a look?
- Can they say or sign “no”? (This shows they have the self-awareness to resist an urge.)
- Do they understand and carry out simple two-step instructions, like “go and get your shoes”?
- Can they imitate what they see you or others doing?
- Can they pick up a small object and put it somewhere intentionally?
- Have they shown any interest in the potty, toilet, or what happens in the bathroom?
If you can tick 3–4 of these, your child is ready to start. You don’t need all eight. The combination of physical control, communication, and basic comprehension is what matters — and most children have this between 18 months and 3 years.
What age do most children start — and does it matter?
In the UK, most children start potty training somewhere between 18 months and 3 years, with the average around 27–28 months. But that average hides a huge range of normal. Some children are genuinely ready at 18 months; others aren’t showing the key signals until closer to 3. Both are fine.
What does matter is that once you start, you follow through consistently. Research — and the experience of the tens of thousands of families who’ve used our method — shows that children who start when the readiness signals are present, and whose parents commit to a focused week of training, almost always get there faster and with less stress than those who attempt a slow, gradual approach over months.
The feedback we hear most often from parents: “I wish I’d started sooner.”
Is there a wrong time to start?
Yes — a few situations make potty training harder than it needs to be, and it’s worth waiting if any of these apply:
- A new baby is arriving soon or has just arrived. Big transitions disrupt the routine and focus that potty training requires. Wait until the new sibling is at least 4–6 weeks old and life has settled again.
- You’re moving house or there’s another major disruption imminent. Stability at home makes a real difference in the first week.
- Your child is unwell. Even a mild cold affects concentration and mood. Wait until they’re fully recovered.
- You don’t have a clear week to dedicate to it. The most effective approach requires you to be home and present — not dipping in and out between work or commitments. If you can’t clear five to seven days, choose a time when you can.
Outside of those situations, if the readiness signals are there, there’s no advantage to waiting. Every month in nappies costs around £50–£60, and the longer children stay in nappies past readiness, the more entrenched the habit becomes.
Boys vs. girls — is there a difference?
You may have heard that boys take longer than girls. There’s a small average difference, but it’s often overstated. The readiness signals work the same way for both. The bigger factor is usually the approach — a clear, consistent method works equally well for boys and girls. (We do have specific guidance on positioning and technique for boys in the Potty Training Box.)
What about highly sensitive children or children with additional needs?
Some children need a little more time and a gentler approach. Highly sensitive children often do better with very gradual introduction to the potty before training begins, lots of predictability, and a reward system that feels encouraging rather than pressured. Children with developmental delays may show the readiness signals later, and that’s fine — the checklist still applies, it just applies later.
We have a dedicated article on potty training a highly sensitive child if this applies to your family.
Ready to start? Here’s what we recommend
When the signals are there and you have a clear week ahead, the most effective thing you can do is commit to a structured approach — not a casual, slow introduction, but a focused five-to-seven-day method that teaches your child exactly what’s expected.
The Potty Training Box gives you everything for that week: a step-by-step method used by over 50,000 families across the UK and Europe, a reward chart, stickers, and a guide that covers the most common challenges — including night training, small frequent wees, and what to do if things aren’t clicking.
Parents who use it typically see their child reliably dry within the first week. And the confidence boost for both child and parent is something we hear about again and again.
hi my 3 year old son is clean throught the day and knows when he needs the toilet he has been clean since he was 2 the trouble we are having his getting him clean through the night he wears pull ups thought the night and are very wet he has woke up twice to go to the toilet but still pull ups are wet he has milk a hour before bed but drinks loads though the day what can I do to get him dry through the night
Hi, it’s really nice that your son has been potty trained during the day since he was 2 years old. Nighttime dryness can take longer, sometimes even until the age of 6 or 7. You can encourage it by having him use the toilet more often before going to sleep. You might also consider giving him slightly less to drink and ensuring he empties his bladder before bedtime. Using a bedwetting alarm could be an option, or you could have him use the toilet again when you go to bed by yourself. Hopefully, these tips will be helpful, but if not, feel free to reach out to us anytime!
My 2.5 yr old son will go on the potty and toilet for wees, but has regressed on poos and will now only go in pants. He started to go on the potty but now He tells us he needs a poo and gets his pull ups so he can go otherwise will hold it. How do I get him back to going on the potty? Thanks
Hi, you can take smaller steps with poo. If your son tells you that he needs to poo you can put him a nappy on. Let him poo while he sits on the toilet with a nappy on. If that goes well you can ask if he is ready for the next step. The next step you can cut a hole in the nappy so that the poo falls into the toilet. But he still feels the comfort of the nappy. If this step goes well you can ask if he is ready for the last step and that’s a poo on the toilet without a nappy on. Hopefully this will help for your son. Good luck!
We are facing the same with our 4y boy. He is totally independent on everything, except popping in the toilet.
I have tried every way, step by step.
I am so confused while we should not pressure them but on the other hand we should insist.
He is screaming and crying when it comes on popping in the toilet.
Feel so confused.
Many children are indeed afraid of pooping on the toilet. Of course it is also a strange feeling and can sometimes feel painful. Make sure your child drinks enough so that it doesn’t hurt as it softens. You can try using a bubble blower on the toilet. With this he relaxes through breathing, moreover it gives pleasure. Both help to reduce anxiety. If he’s really scared, you can gradually phase out the diaper. So let him poop on the toilet with diaper on. Step 2 is cut a hole in the diaper so that the poop falls into the toilet. Step 3 is without diaper. Let him indicate when he is ready for the next step. This way you give him control and he can decide for himself. Also, sit next to him and hold his hand so you can calm and reassure him.
My 3 and half daughter just started potty training she doing really good at nursery she sits on the toilet but will not sit on toilet at home I brought her a toilet seat go on toilet at home she does not like it also gone out brought her another toilet seat with ladder she will not sit on that she likes her potty so when I take her out has put nappies on has she Will not use toilet while we out but she’s back home she takes her nappies off
The toilet can be exciting/scary because she might feel she can fall in. So good of you to try a toilet seat and a step so she has stability and can stand up if she pleases. I guess the nursery has smaller toilets which are less scary. Take her feelings seriously and comfort her while she goes to the toilet. Guide her (hold her hand) and tell her it’s not scary and you will be there to help her all the way. When you do this (or maybe several times) she will feel more at ease and can go to the toilet herself.
My son is 3 and a half and I’m having trouble potty training. He doesn’t speak at all either which is making it harder. I feel like I have tried everything. He does not come to me when he has pooed or peed in the nappy, I have to check it to see what’s in it.
I have got a potty and a kids toiletseat with steps and handles.
I get him to sit on the toilet everyday and he is still yet to pee in it, he will only sit on it for a few seconds then go wash his hands. I have got him pants and it still doesn’t help. He has seen me and my husband go to the toilet aswel.
Any advice.
Would you be able to free up a week to potty train your little son? It is normal for a 3 and a half to act like this, because he gets used to the nappies. Therefore, our training programme starting with developing a routine for the little ones.
From what you have described, you are prepared and your little son has also got some ideas what is going on. However, I think you would need our training programme to guide both you and your son step-by-step to be completely potty trained. You also need to prepare some small gifts to help encouraging your son and in our training programme, there is a check-list for you to prepare before starting the potty training.
Hope this information helps, and we look forward to provide further support to you and your cutie little son.
Best regards
Try using his favourite toys sitting on the potty and making them have a Wee congratulate his toy getting ur son to be involved in giving his toy some special attention for doing so well then ask him if he would like to try this worked with my son as he refused to sit on either until I tried this hope it helps and good luck. ?
Hi my son tuned 3 today we did try potty training a couple of time as he seemed to be ready or showing signs of been ready but unfortunately he seemed uninterested and I didn’t won’t to pressure him as didn’t want him feeling more uncomfortable, he’s fully aware of when he wees and when he’s filling Is nappy, but he goes and hides tho when this happens, he as always done this tho it’s kinda difficult to ? he’s my 3rd boy and my other 2 where the same and there was almost 3 to so is it just a boy thing or is there more ways I can try to encourage him people have said he will be ready when he feels more ready i do encourage him loads but I feel he’s just just 100 percent comfortable within himself at the moment!!
Hi Clare, this is normal behaviour, not specific to boys. The feeling of pooing can be exciting or an akward feeling, that’s why he’s searching privacy. This could result in some struggles not wanting to go on the potty. But if you comfort him or put the potty on a private spot you can turn this to a positive thing. Just acknowledge his feelings and make suggestions that make him feel comfortable.
Make small steps and you will achieve your goal.
Hi my boy is 18 months old and showing signs of potty training. Tells us when he’s had a poo and wants his full wet nappy changing etc. Is he too young to start potty training?
Hi Rachel, these signs are telling you he is mentally ready. Kids are getting physically ready around 18-20 months. We like too keep some margin here and advise to start around 24 months to be sure he’s physically ready too. That does not mean you can’t try. There are parents who try and succeed around 18 months. Keep it accessible and keep in mind it’s early for him if you plan on trying it.
My toddler is showing signs of being ready but cries when we ask him to go on the potty before going in the bath and will hold his wee until he is in the bath. How do I help him not be afraid of the potty?
Hi Zoe, the potty can be an exiting thing. Take small steps to let him get used to the potty. For instance use a teddy bear and let it wee on the potty to let your boy know it isn’t scary. Next step is to let him sit on the potty with his clothes still on. Reward him if he takes this step. Next step with his nappy on, and so on.
It’s important to take his fear seriously, so you can guide him step by step.